Kids these days!

Sometimes I listen to kids these days and think, “Why are you SO dramatic?”  I mean, you’re 22 years old.  Whatever’s happening to you is temporary.  You just learned how to poop in the potty and sing the alphabet song.  Take a deep breath, eat a handful of sourpatch kids, and chill out.  OMG!  You pierced the wrong nostril, and it will be scarred FOREVER!  Your boyfriend just dumped you, and he is DEFINITELY the only person in the entire world who will EVER love you.  I mean, he even bought your dog a sweater and told you your muffin top was sexy.  That is TRUE LOVE!  You absolutely detest your job and, as studies show, you will certainly stay with this company for the next 45 years.  And you picked the WRONG ONE.  YOU IDIOT!!!  Just kill yourself now.

You probably can’t tell from my tone, but I’ve actually been feeling a bit patronizing and condescending about the whole thing. 

I just stumbled upon an old journal while cleaning out my back room.  At the time I wrote this, I was working as a public accountant in Chicago.  Oh, and I happened to be 22.  Each day I dressed in my navy blue suit, put my heels into my bag, slapped on some running shoes, rode the el into the loop, schlepped into the firm, sat at my desk, and waited for someone (please, anyone at all!) to give me something to do.  See, I started the job in September, but they were actually just packing the firm to get ready for tax season.  So I, along with the other ten new-hires, did absolutely nothing all day.  I studied for the CPA exam from 9am to 5 pm for about 3 weeks.  It was just long enough to realize that I hated dressing in a navy blue suit (with nude panty hose!  Gross!  WTH are those for anyway???), throwing on grubby tennies, and riding the el to sit in a cubicle where I then spent the day learning how to pass a test that would enable me to do this FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.  At the beginning of week 4, I joined the gym next door to the firm and bought a notebook and a multi-track cassette recorder.  That way I could work out a few times a day and spend the rest of the time writing lyrics at my desk.  Then I’d go home at night, compose the music to accompany the lyrics, and record it all.  Sounds like a pretty sweet gig, right? 

Anyway, here’s a random sample of some of the lyrics in the notebook I found:

I watch the time tick by

As I’m locked up this little cage

Doing what they say to earn my measly take-home pay

“Honey, you’re smart. 

Obey directions and dress for the part.”

So I smile through the day

In this façade it’s the part that I play

And now I’m stuck wishing my life away

There’s a massive hole in my body where I once had soul

And I can’t stand that I sold myself, and now I work for the man

I don’t know why

Can’t think of one reason, I said

To keep this body alive

When my spirit is dead.

I’ve got a gun in mouth

Got a knife at my throat

I’ve got all the gas turned on

This is my suicide note.

As you can see, I knew this was a step along the way in the journey to becoming me and nothing at all to get all worked up about.  I also had reasonable feelings about my love life.  I knew that, at 22, it’s all just fun. You get to know a few people, go on exciting dates, and casually enjoy meeting new personalities while blossoming into adulthood. 

Oh, here’s another song I found.  I think it’s about one of the adorable boys I was dating:

Now I want to hit you

I want to kick you

I want to drag your body down

Every bit as far as you’ve managed

To drag my spirit down.

You see,  I was just a sweet, rational 22 year-old girl with a clear perspective about my life.  But kids these days…..Yikes.  Get a grip!